#NowIKnow Clare's story…

Clare’s story was originally published in our Autumn 2025 issue of Your Autism.

Content note: Clare’s story briefly mentions being sectioned, psychosis and suicide attempts.

I am a 51-year-old menopausal woman, and I’ve just been diagnosed as autistic. What a relief. Everything now makes sense.  I worked as a deputy head in a primary school for 26 years before one day having a ‘meltdown’. 

Living as an undiagnosed woman for 50 years has been tough, and working within the education sector has, I think, made it more difficult, as the system is not set up for neurodivergent staff or pupils. My whole working life has been spent working in a space that does not suit me or my brain, and that’s been a struggle, as it is for so many school children and teachers.

It’s been a long journey of three years with misdiagnoses of psychosis, stress and anxiety. I was even sectioned and tried to take my own life twice. The medication wasn’t working, and my ‘symptoms’ weren’t improving. My trigger points were family social gatherings, and, despite telling professionals this, no one even considered autism. My mental health team worked tirelessly to try to find out what was happening to me, but despite seeing more than 40 psychiatrists, doctors and mental health practitioners, none of them could.  

My epiphany came when I started to write down exactly what I was finding so difficult about these social situations. What I had written was a list of autistic characteristics, and the penny dropped. I was autistic and had been having meltdowns after social situations, resulting in me needing to recover and remove all stimulation for a period of four weeks!  Suddenly, my whole life made sense.

I’m sharing my story with others in the hope that they can learn from it and make their own lives easier. I was totally unaware of the effect that the menopause had on my neurodivergent brain and was not well-equipped to deal with it when the two collided three years ago. 

In my case, the psychiatrist thinks that my psychosis could have been triggered by the hormonal changes brought about by the menopause. I had hallucinations and was completely paranoid, losing all my self-worth and belief. I no longer recognised or liked myself and was suspicious of everybody in my life.  

It was a very lonely and isolating time. It was only when I was finally given HRT that these symptoms were controlled. I had never heard that the menopause can be even more difficult for neurodivergent brains to manage, and this was certainly how it was for me. My autistic characteristics and behaviours became far more pronounced, and I suffered from more burnout and depression. Thankfully, now, I am managing better as I learn more about autism, and I take regular medication for my bipolar disorder, which helps regulate my mood. 

The message I would like to send is that many menopausal symptoms could actually be explained by neurodivergence, and I’d like anyone who is struggling with the menopause to explore this avenue.  

It’s been an exhausting three and a half years, but I wouldn’t change it. I finally know who I am and feel validated within the world. 

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