Hi Andrew! When did you first know or start to think you were autistic? 

I have always preferred my own world. It is a safe space that enables me to be myself.  

I struggled at school and university to make and maintain any friendships or relationships. I found comfort in details, routine and my passion for bodybuilding, but not being with others. I struggled to socialise and would get anxious if anybody ever invited me out or looked my way.  

I did not understand what being autistic was, and I did not understand autism.  

Throughout my childhood and adulthood, I struggled with anxiety and depression, leading to some very difficult depressive episodes. These episodes I found to be almost cyclic, at which point I sought a referral for a diagnosis.  

I was completely exhausted, in some despair and confused at first, ‘Am I autistic? What is autism?’ 

To others, it may have looked like I had coped so well with my life, but truly, I had struggled immensely inside. I just wished I could communicate, to shout out loud to others how difficult things were, but my voice just seemed to fall silent whenever I felt low.
 

What was the diagnosis process like for you? What did it mean when you got your diagnosis? 

It may sound cliché, but my diagnosis was truly life-changing for me. Not at first, as I struggled with acceptance (I had learned to mask and hide the real me). Even during the diagnosis process, my clinician said: “I think you may know the outcome already.” I talked at length about my passion for bodybuilding and cars during the assessment. 

The diagnosis meant learning a whole new language for me. I am determined to learn as much as possible about autism and have learned to unmask.  

I am no longer afraid, and with the help of an amazing bodybuilding and posing community that I am part of, I am so proud of how far I have come.  
 

What was the impact of getting a late diagnosis and being undiagnosed until you were 40? 

Really life-changing. Growing up was difficult and very confusing. I would be quite angry with myself and blame myself for being somewhat ‘different’. I would argue with my mother and vividly remember telling her: “I am not different.” 

I am happy now, although I am not sure what happy (or love, sadness or joy) looks like. I guess I’m more comfortable with myself.  

I do not like going out still. Changes to my routine have to be pre-planned in so much detail. However, having the courage to stim, be myself in public places and find others who love bodybuilding as a passion is amazing. This all happened after my diagnosis. 

I competed on stage for the very first time in October 2024 at a Natural Bodybuilding show, and this was a brilliant experience for me. I enjoyed every single second.

I love dance and especially ballet. My posing coach is amazing, and without Hannah’s help, I would never have had the confidence or the ability to have entered my first competition. Hannah never gave up on me and has been my posing coach from my very first nervous pose.  

I now have the confidence to attend posing workshops and would love to help others in the future to achieve their dreams too. I absolutely adore posing, movement and the artistic/aesthetic aspect of the sport.  

I have a very strict routine, and each and every day is planned to ensure I can do my best in the gym. Training, nutrition, posing – it is so much fun to learn. The release of effort from my gym work gives me a calm feeling and helps me focus throughout the day in teaching.
 

Why do you think it’s so important to talk about mental health as an autistic person? 

For me, communicating my feelings has always been difficult. I will communicate through my posing, through my art and painting or writing. 

At times, I find it very difficult to verbalise how I feel. I am so grateful to those who have taken the time to really listen to me. To help me when things are difficult and I don’t know where to turn.  

At times, all I need is quiet and to know that the others are there when I am ready to open up and talk is vital for me. It has to be with those closest to me, but it reassures me.  

I have learned to believe that everything will be alright. Even during the toughest times, seasons always change.
 

Has your autism diagnosis changed how you think about mental health or how you manage your mental wellbeing? 

Since my diagnosis, I have read so many articles and watched so many programmes to help enlighten and educate myself about autism and mental health.  

I now take care of myself a lot better, have prioritised the activities that have a positive impact on my wellbeing and sought reasonable adjustments in my workplace to manage a work-life balance.  

Helping and supporting others is important to me, but equally, I have learned the importance of being aware of my own mental health. This was never a priority before, and I would often exhaust myself trying to please or do things for others. I do still work to help and support others, but I am aware that my mental wellbeing is important too. Being realistic in what I can and can’t do. 
 

For World Mental Health Awareness Week, what message would you like to share with other autistic people who may be struggling with their mental health? 

During my most difficult days, I have a belief that things always change. Every day can be a new page or even chapter with the help and support of others.  

It can be a challenge to find and access this support, but it can make the difference. We may communicate in different ways – sometimes it takes time to find the best way in which to show our emotions.  

Remembering you are truly enough and unique.