Lucy Nathanson, Selective Mutism Specialist and founder of Confident Children, writes about how differences with language and social communication may form part of an individual autistic person’s profile. Lucy also discusses some recognised key strategies and approaches, such as creating a supportive environment and encouraging positive interactions.

Do you know an autistic child who talks freely at home but is unable to speak in other situations, eg at school, or only whispers to friends? This may be a sign of selective mutism (SM), an anxiety-based condition. SM is not just shyness – it’s an anxiety response. Understanding that silence isn’t stubbornness, rudeness or defiance is crucial. For those with SM, speaking can feel impossible in certain situations. This article will focus on children; however, SM can affect people of all ages.

It is important to note that autistic children can have SM as a dual diagnosis alongside their autism diagnosis, and if so, they should also receive support for their SM. Some parents have shared that they raised possible SM with their treating professional, but SM was disregarded and the child’s non-speaking in some situations was attributed to autism. This led to the child not receiving support they rightly needed for SM. It is important that a full assessment is carried out so that if a child meets the criteria for SM, they receive support for this.

Autistic children may have differences with language and social communication, and if so, this may be part of their autistic profile, but the key is that these challenges persist across situations. The difference with SM is that children differ in their ability to communicate in various situations due to anxiety - when they are with parents and siblings, they are able to speak freely, and in other specific situations, they are unable to speak. Autistic children may experience a shutdown response in certain situations, becoming non-verbal temporarily. This usually passes once they feel comfortable or the environment becomes less overwhelming. In contrast, with SM, the silence persists even after the child has had time to warm up.

The ICD-11 describes SM as “characterised by consistent selectivity in speaking, such that a child demonstrates adequate language competence in specific social situations, typically at home, but consistently fails to speak in others, typically at school. The disturbance lasts for at least one month, is not limited to the first month of school, and is of sufficient severity to interfere with educational achievement or with social communication. Failure to speak is not due to a lack of knowledge of, or comfort with, the spoken language required in the social situation (eg a different language spoken at school than at home).”

Every child with SM is different. Some are completely non-verbal at school, while others may manage brief responses. With high-profile SM, children are consistently unable to speak in certain situations. With low-profile SM, the child may be able to speak minimally and give short responses when the fear of disapproval outweighs the fear of talking. For example, they may respond to the register because they know that is expected but are unable to talk freely in the classroom.

SM can impact more than just speech. Children may find it difficult to participate in PE, drama, struggle to eat in front of others, and even non-verbal communication, such as using gestures, can be difficult.

Without support, SM can persist into adolescence and adulthood, affecting friendships, mental health and work opportunities. The good news is that, with patience and the right strategies, children can gradually build confidence and the ability to communicate freely across situations.

Creating a supportive environment is key to starting to help a child with SM. Teachers and school staff play a vital role. A supportive approach starts with reducing pressure to speak and initially accepting alternative communication methods, such as nodding, pointing or writing. For autistic children, this also means considering sensory needs. A noisy classroom, bright lights or chaotic environment can make speaking feel impossible; therefore, stressors in the environment should be reduced. Visual schedules, predictable routines and a calm space for breaks can also help children feel safe and able to engage.

Pairing a child with a patient, understanding peer can provide both social support and a gentle bridge to communication. Where possible, make classroom activities accessible to all children non-verbally, so the child with SM isn’t singled out. Flexibility is key – allowing exemptions from oral presentations, letting students pre-record answers or offering quiet spaces during trips or transitions can make a huge difference.

For autistic children, individualising activities around their interests – like drawing, cars or specific topics – can make speaking more accessible and can help the child connect socially and feel understood.

Building trust with a school-based adult is essential, particularly for autistic children, for whom forming relationships can sometimes take longer. Progress often begins with very small steps, such as using gestures, sharing a drawing or typing responses, before moving toward spoken words.

Encouraging supportive peer interactions is also important. Autistic children may find peer relationships difficult to navigate, so classmates should be encouraged to interact in ways that do not pressure the child to speak.

Parents can share insights into triggers, coping strategies and what helps their child feel safe. Regular check-ins between families and school staff help ensure that strategies are consistent and adapted as required.

Supporting an autistic child with SM requires patience, flexibility and collaboration. By creating low-pressure environments, respecting sensory needs, building trust and gradually introducing communication opportunities tailored to the child’s interests, an autistic child with SM can develop the confidence to communicate and thrive.

Further resources

For free resources, including transition tips and a summary sheet of SM do’s and don’ts, see: www.confidentchildren.co.uk/freebies

Confident Children offers free content and resources on their YouTube Channel, Facebook and Instagram.

Listen to Lucy being interviewed about selective mutism on the BBC.

Lucy has written several books for children with SM, for the class and for teachers, see: www.confidentchildren.co.uk/books

See SMiRA: www.selectivemutism.org.uk