Working with your child’s school to resolve differences
Here, we look at ways you can communicate with your child’s school or local/education authority to try to resolve differences. This includes knowing your education policies, sharing autism knowledge and resources, and advice on how you can take things further.
For more information, select from the menu above or the links below.
Disability discrimination
Mediation, disagreement resolution and what to do if those fail
If your disagreement is with a college or university, please read our Disability discrimination in Further and Higher Education guide. We also have an exclusion from college or university in Great Britain guide for autistic students who feel their exclusion is the result of disability discrimination.
Communicate with the school
Make sure you know the current strategies school staff are using to support your child, and that you’re aware what’s going on in your child's day at school. Raise any concerns you have as early as possible with your child's class teacher.
To help explain why you’re raising concerns, provide the school with recent and relevant examples that reinforce your views. Ask the school for their examples to help you understand any conflicting views.
Focus on the problem and how to put things right for the future, rather than apportioning blame on any particular individual. It’s important to get your child’s views using their preferred means of communication – in person, via text, video or symbols/signs.
Find out who’s responsible for a special educational needs (SEN) support for learning at your child's school. In England this is the special educational needs co-ordinator (SENCO).
It’s also useful to know which parent governor or council member is responsible for special educational needs and disabilities (SEND).
Know your education policies
Ask the school and your local authority for a copy of their policies on SEN. You may also want to get a copy of the SEND code of practice 0-25 years.
Your local authority's local offer will set out local services for children with SEN. This must be published online or made available to you, in a different format for example large print or in a different language, if necessary.
Share autism knowledge and resources with teaching staff
If you feel that the school or local authority need a better understanding of autism and how it impacts on your child, you can share autism knowledge and resources.
The Autism Education Trust has a free downloadable booklet about working together with your child's school. It may help you identify what you feel is most important in terms of your child's education, including how the school could best meet their needs. These priorities can be the basis of discussions with school staff and highlight what to focus on.
Tips for writing education-related letters and emails
When writing letters or emails to your child’s school or local authority, make sure:
- your letter or email contains all your child’s details, such as their name, date of birth, their school, and any other key information
- you add references, such as a tribunal case number
- letters are dated and that you keep a copy
- you either hand deliver letters or send them by recorded delivery
- you address the letter or email to the most appropriate person.
If you’re unsure who to write to at your local authority, address the letter to the Director of Education, or equivalent. Your local authority will be able to give you their name, or it will be on their website.
Manage your documents
Always keep original versions of any documents you send to the school or local authority – send photocopies. When you receive paperwork, check that relevant documents are included and ask for any that are missing.
Check through all documents and highlight things you agree or disagree with. It's helpful to photocopy any documents so you have a separate copy of paperwork to make notes on.
Read any paperwork you receive about your child to make sure the information is correct.
Prepare for education meetings
Here are some things you can do to prepare for a meeting with your child’s school or local authority:
- Ask for copies of your child’s school record before the meeting. If you can’t get hold of this, you can make a subject access request.
- Read any reports that have been written about your child and highlight any areas you have concerns about or would like clarified.
- Mark any relevant sections in the code of practice which relate to your views.
- Make a list of your views, concerns and any questions you want answered.
- Use this list during the meeting and tick off points as they’re discussed.
- If there’s someone else you think should be at the meeting, such as a teaching assistant, ask if they can be there.
- Ask someone who also knows your child to go to the meeting with you so they can take notes. Tell the school or local authority you’re doing this.
During the meeting
- Make clear notes of what’s said, including any deadlines that are discussed for putting support in place.
- If you don't understand anything, ask for it to be explained again.
- Don't feel pressured to agree to anything there and then.
- Remember that the other parties must work in partnership with you and fully consider your views.
- If tensions arise during the meeting, remind everyone that you’re all committed to the same goal – your child’s education.
- Make sure that everything you wanted to discuss has been dealt with. Discuss some points again if you need to.
- If necessary, try to agree a future date for a further meeting to discuss progress.
Questions you might ask during the meeting:
- What support is my child receiving, and who is involved in providing support?
- How is the effectiveness of the support evaluated?
- What steps are taken to ensure that my child is able to fully participate in all school activities?
- What adjustments are being made to consider my child's difficulties?
- How do you gather and evaluate my child's views?
- Have school staff received any training to help to understand autism?
- Does the school have sufficient resources to feel able to meet my child's needs?
After the meeting, write a letter to the chairperson to confirm your understanding of what was discussed, and any actions that were agreed. Copy in anyone who was at the meeting.
Keep accurate records of meetings and deadlines
Keep records of discussions and meetings, and a diary of events. A diary of your child's difficulties is also useful.
Make sure you stick to any deadlines. For example, your child's school or local authority may ask you to take action within a certain timeframe.
What to do if you’re autistic
If you’re autistic, it may be helpful to tell the school this, if you’re comfortable doing so. You can then request that reasonable adjustments are made that help you communicate with the school or local education authority. For example, these might be:
- information in different formats
- a quiet area to wait before meetings
- for meetings to be recorded.
Taking things further
If you’re not able to resolve your concerns with the school or local authority directly, there may be further action you can take. This will depend on the nature of your disagreement, such as if your child:
- needs extra help
- is being bullied
- is having problems with transport
- is refusing to go to school
- has been excluded
Some disagreements, including those relating to education, health and care (EHC) plans (after mediation) may only be resolved through the external appeal process, which is the First-tier Tribunal (special educational needs and disability or SEND).
Disability discrimination
The Equality Act 2010 legally protects disabled pupils from discrimination in education.
You might also find our information about disability discrimination helpful.
Further help
Information on getting extra help at school for England.
Useful contacts
The Council for Disabled Children's Information, Advice and Support Services Network.