Some autistic children find the demands of school, and the school environment, almost unbearable, leading to absence or ‘school refusal’. It’s a term that some people feel unfairly implies the child or young person has a choice, when in fact they may not be simply unwilling, but actually unable to tolerate school. 
 
School absence or refusal can be ongoing until the reasons behind it have been identified and addressed. Here we look at reasons that could be behind this. We also suggest strategies to try at home and school to help maintain school attendance or reintegrate your child back into school. 
 

What are the added pressures of the school environment? 

Autistic children and young people can face additional pressure at school. For example, they may: 

• lack the complex social skills that come naturally to others, struggle to make and keep friends or might experience bullying 
• have difficulty coping with the curriculum. This could be because they have difficulty processing information and understanding questions and text 
• struggle to cope with the demands of a school timetable because they have difficulty organising and prioritising 
• experience sensory differences which can make it hard to tolerate some aspects of the school environment, like noises, smells and lighting 
• strive for perfection in their work and see anything less as a failure 
• get into trouble with teachers for unintentionally being rude, inappropriate or not respecting authority 
• take things literally, which might mean that they misunderstand a teacher’s instructions, or aren’t able to join in with classroom jokes 
• find sudden changes to their routine difficult 
• find transitions difficult, like moving classroom or changing teacher 
• find that unstructured time, like breaks and lunchtime, cause anxiety at school 
• experience difficulty with a particular subject or member of staff 
• struggle with anxiety and find it hard to be apart from family, or away from the familiar routines of home. 

Parents have a legal duty to make sure that their children have a suitable education by regular attendance at school, or otherwise. If your child is unwell due to stress or any other condition that means they’ll be absent for longer than a few days, you should get a medical certificate from a health professional. If your GP can’t provide this, you may need to approach another health professional, like someone from Child Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS). You should also let the school and the local/education authority know and discuss arrangements for alternative education. 
 

How can I find out why my child’s refusing school? 

Explore what your child thinks about their experiences at school. For example, rather than ask how their day has been, which could be answered by an ambiguous ‘OK’, ask what their favourite lesson was that day. You could also ask them to score parts of their day. For example, ‘how much did you enjoy playtime today with a score of one of ten’. And follow up, ‘that’s a lower score than yesterday. What made you enjoy it less? Visual supports may help. 

Consider whether there could be a pattern to their absences. Are they trying to avoid a particular situation, lesson or person that makes them anxious? 
 
Speak to a member of staff at school who knows your child well, and ask for their help. Your child may be showing signs of anxiety in school at particular times. 
 
Alternatively, your child may display different behaviour at home than in school. They might bottle up their emotions until the end of the school day and release them when they’re at home, where they feel fully loved and accepted. 
 
Understanding your child’s behaviour may be difficult. You may find our information on behaviour helps.
 
Consider whether your child is being bullied, or if they could be misinterpreting the actions and intentions of others as hostile when they’re not. 

Consider gender issues. For example, autism may present differently in girls. For children who don’t use verbal or written communication, schools should consider: 

• the views of parents, carers and others who know them well 
• a behaviour diary 
• a home/school communication book. 

Strategies you could try at home 

If your child becomes reluctant to go to school, it’s important to take action early. Some of these strategies may help: 

• Encourage them to communicate with you about the problem. Using visual supports may help. Ask your child to rate events or places at school on a scale from ‘not scary’ to ‘very scary’. This may help you to see when and where the problems occur and help build your child’s resilience. 
• If you have an understanding of the reasons behind their reluctance, share it with school staff. 
• Create a ‘worry book’ for your child to record their anxiety during the school day. If appropriate, read the book together as part of their evening routine. You can then help them deal with any worries by suggesting how to cope with them in the future. 
• Identify strategies to regulate, reduce and monitor emotions and reduce stress, for example exercise, visual stress scales such as a stress thermometer or traffic light system. 
• Reward and praise any progress on specific tasks, like completing something they find difficult, putting on their school uniform or walking past school. 
• Provide structure at home by using visual supports. 
• Try to help them develop their social skills. 
• Help your child to understand the benefits of education.
   

Strategies to discuss with the school 

The help your child needs will depend upon the causes of their anxiety. For example, there may be a specific problem which requires immediate action from school, like bullying. 

Here are some other triggers and strategies to consider: 

• School environment. Many autistic children and young people have sensory differences. There are specific strategies that can help with this, like providing a calm and quiet place, a suitable workspace or wearing ear defenders. They may need support from an occupational therapist to help identify and manage sensory issues. 
• Does your child need more, or different support at school? They may need help with transitioning between lessons, or might benefit from specialist input from a speech and language therapist to help them understand social situations. 
• Use the understanding you have of your child to identify coping strategies that can be used in school. Discuss these with the person responsible for special educational needs (SEN) or additional support needs (ASN). This could be something like time out cards, stress scales or other interventions. 
• Ask the school to make reasonable adjustments at the start and end of the school day. For example, your child could be met at the school entrance by a member of staff they feel comfortable with, be given time to engage in hobbies/interests, or be allowed to leave before other pupils. 
• Ask the school to consider extra breaks for your child during the school day. Perhaps they could be redirected to a different activity, have a quick run outside, or retreat to a quieter area of the school. 
• Your child might like the opportunity to discuss their feelings at the end of each school day. Ask your child’s teacher or support assistant to go through the timetable with them and ask them to mark each lesson out of ten. For those lessons they score low, ask them why. 
• Suggest to school that they use your child’s interest to help them learn. For example, if your child is interested in dinosaurs perhaps a lesson to count could involve counting dinosaurs. Talking about their interest can help to bring them into conversations and build positive relationships with staff. 
• Ask the school if there are ways they can reward your child for small improvements in achievement. 

When supporting your child in going back to school after a period of absence, it may help to start off on a part-time timetable and build up gradually. This can be better than your child feeling pressured to complete a whole day, and then not coping. 
 

Increasing the school’s autism awareness 

Ask the school if they’ll consider organising autism awareness training for all staff, including break and lunchtime support supervisors. 
 
It could also help if the school creates opportunities for all pupils to develop an understanding of medical conditions, SEN or ASN and disabilities. This could be a school assembly where information on many additional needs, including autism, can be presented without highlighting any particular pupil. This will help others to view autism in a positive way and is likely to benefit everyone in the school community. It might help not only your child, but also other autistic children and young people at the school. 
 
Teachers working with autistic children and young people may find it helpful to sign up for our Autism practice - education: a monthly newsletter for teachers and education professionals (both mainstream and specialist).
 

Returning to school 

Schools should try to identify and address sources of stress and reduce anxiety levels. This will help your child re-engage with their education by feeling safe in the classroom and accepted by those who support them. 
 
Any period of transition, including returning to school, can cause anxiety so careful preparation will be needed to help your child manage this change. 
 
Involve them in the process and arrangements, including details that might seem trivial, such as: 

• which room they’ll go to first 
• what time they’ll go there 
• how long they’ll be there 
• why they’ll be there 
• what will happen next. 

A visual timetable may help 
 
Before your child can access learning, work may need to be done on their emotional wellbeing, reducing stress and increasing self-confidence. 

What if this doesn’t resolve the problem? 

If you feel your child needs more support to help them return to school and progress, you should consider getting extra help for them in school. 
 
If anxiety or other mental health conditions are contributing to your child’s difficulty with attending school, ask your GP to make a referral to CAMHS. They have a team that can advise you on psychiatry, clinical psychology, counselling and other therapies. 
 
The school could involve the Education Welfare Officer. It’s their job to work with schools, pupils and families to support regular school attendance. 
 
If your child continues to struggle to attend school, you may decide to choose a different school or consider home education. 
 

Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) 

If your child has a profile of pathological demand avoidance (PDA) then talk to school about appropriate interventions. The standard ones used for autistic children and young people will need to be adapted to take your child’s PDA into account. 

The PDA Society has useful information (see our useful resources below). You could also suggest that school staff read more about helping children with PDA at school.
 

Useful resources 

You might find this PDF, from the Autism Education Trust, useful: School stress and anxiety – how it can lead to school refusal and impact on family life.

You may like to suggest to your child's school that to help other pupils learn about autism, the school could use the National Autistic Society's learning resources for schools and the Autism Education Trust's guide Promoting autism inclusive attitudes.

The PDA Society has useful information for families and carers, along with educational and handling guidelines for education settings.

If you need to find local autism services (schools, counsellors, local groups, diagnostic services) in your area, you can search on our Autism Services Directory - please browse by categories and refine by your local area.

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